Live and learn. I believe in learning as long as we live. If I could count the things I’ve learned in just the last year, I would have an enormous list. I recently came to the conclusion, that in ALL things there is a “your way.” There are principles and natural orders you can’t overwrite, but in the details, you have lots of choices, and you have to pick the one that works best for you.
What I mean by “your way”
Let’s say you build a house. You must start with the bottom; can’t start at the top. You can’t vary from that. But that is entirely up to you where will you put your walls, what materials will you use. You can make your decisions based on your research, others’ experience and on many other things. Depending on what you base your decision on, you can make great and poor choices. But even if you make a poor decision, you can learn and make better next time. The point is that what is best for someone out in the world, is not at all sure to be the best for you. Dare to experiment with different ideas – even your owns -, materials, tools and find YOUR way. The way that works best for you!
If you have a blog, you find all the different tips which host to choose, which theme to pick, what plugins you definitely need, etc. But the thing is: it all depends on what your business plan is, what your strategy is, and what your preferences are regarding social platforms, and again, etc. It all depends!There is no one surefire way. Not in the blogging, neither in the real world. We all should have our own paths.
Let’s see Pinterest – the most fabulous collection of brilliant contents. You can find anything and the opposite of that on this platform. And both works best – for someone. In Pinterest strategies, one swears for scheduling your pins, the other for manual pinning. And they are both right. One made a success with one, and the other with the other. But which one will work best for you? Well, that’s for you to find out!!!
Parenting tips can be even more confusing. Even harder to find the right path. That’s why it’s essential to have a strong foundation of parenting principals. And if the tip you find goes along with your fundamental principles, then fine, give it a try. If not, why bother?!
Why do we operate in such unique ways?
Well, the answer is in our past, present and view on the future. It is more than complicated, but I highlight a few things, to help you to understand better how we work, and why you should be brave enough to search for your own ways – in ALL you do.
Our past has a massive impact on us and influences our current choices. We have in us deep within our upbringing, the family bond we were growing up in, the world views we got implemented in us, the education we got, the adventures and experiences we had, to this day. Our parents’ parenting habits and personality, your relationship with them and every other relationship you’ve ever had. All these will have a say in all your choices today. These work mostly in your subconscious, but you can use them intentionally too. The point is: they matter.
To figure out your own way your present will be the determining factor. Your lifestyle, your status, your circumstances. Are you a SAHM or WAHM or a working woman? Are you married or not? Have kids or not? Have to live the frugal way, or you have plenty to spend? At which part of the world do you live at all?
And what are your plans for the future? Are you happy with what you have or you have plans to make changes? Do you need new habits or the old ones make you content? You want to learn something, become better in something, or want to take it easy and relaxing? So, in what direction are you headed?
All these aspects are adhered by your personality and supplemented with your intentional efforts/research to make the best decisions. When researching, pay close attention to find the resources that are in accordance with all who you are and want to be. Your resources can make a huge difference in either direction. Choose wisely!
So how to find your way?
Well, if you’ve got my point above, then to find your own way and accept that, should be reasonably easy. (I’m saying “accept”, because some of us with heavier luggage from the past, find it hard to take what we figure out. And that’s fine. The result matters only.)
Have I been here before? What did I do? Did it work? (experience)
How did my role models (mom, grandma, mentor, etc.) do this? Why did they do so? (past examples)
What impact did it make on me? (prior experience)
Have I seen any other ways I liked? From who? Are they a positive example in general? (examples)
Does it fit into my worldview? (principals)
Can my husband support me in this? Are we on the same page? (present relationships)
Can I afford it? (present circumstances)
Can I fit it in my lifestyle? (present circumstances)
Where will this lead? Does it help to reach my goals? (future plans)
What impact will it possibly make on the lives of those around me? (future prospects )
Does it fit my personality? (adhesive)
Is it in accordance with my research? Does it fit with what I’ve learned? (research)
In what area of your life can you apply this?
Any, actually. Maybe with some adjustments but these questions can help you in any area of your life where you want to find your own way:
Giving birth (!)
ANYTHING you want to find your own way in.
Take one area at a time. Don’t try to tackle all or more at once. Once you figure out the way in one topic, celebrate it, and then move on to the next one. Soon your uniqueness will be in full bloom, and you’ll be more content with yourself as never before.
Don’t forget! You are not to invent something! Though that might happen to you during the process, and that’s great. A gift on top of the course you’re taking. But first of all, you are to find your own ways to live your life to the full. Be brave, dare, experiment, gain wisdom along the way, and use it! For the benefit of yours and your beloved ones.
To help you take action I created a Workbook for you with the questions asked in this post. Download and print, then answer! Build your uniqueness! (Click on the front cover!)
Hi! I'm Kamilla, a wife to a wonderful man and mom of 10 amazing little people. We're raising 7 girls and 3 boys, aged from newborn to 16-year-old. I love our journey of parenting and busy myself with creating the Home we've been dreaming of for too long. I share my ups and downs to help you with your journey of parenthood and my researches on building a home.